Lisa Annunziato lives outside NYC in a house with two crazy dogs. She started out as a teacher, and now works full time in sales and writes on the side. Her mother spends her days posting signs all over the eastern seaboard that say: “WANTED: HUSBAND FOR MY DAUGHTER, DOESN’T EVEN NEED TO BE EMPLOYED, AND WE WILL WORK AROUND A CRIMINAL RECORD. REWARD!!!” Lisa occupies her time outside of work trying to remain sane, frequently failing in that area, and eating far too much cheese.
My avatar, and me trying much too hard.
Even at age two, I couldn’t be trusted.
Hmm. How am I going to get her to hand over that present?
I admit to nothing. The doll is not in on it. And whatever you do, do NOT look over there.
This is my serial killer face.
In 1990 I won a state-wide award for writing a novella. I did not, however, win any awards for fashion.
My family. Long Island, NY, 1979.
1994. My parents and I showing my poor aunt how insane we had become since moving to California. (It was always there, we just hid it better in New York.)
My family with the addition of my sister-in-law, 1996. Clearly on our best behavior so we don’t scare her off.
My Mom looks happy, but even then she is nervously protecting me from falling off the dresser.
1987. With my Mom at a dance recital. God, I hope that was where we were, because either that or with my penchant for sequin belts I was channeling Blanche from the Golden Girls.
With my Mom in San Diego, 2001. Probably the only time in my life I didn’t qualify for the gold medal in the Whitest Italian Alive competition.
Daddy kisses, 1979. Take note of the awesome shag carpet and handle bar Dad ‘stache.
More Dad love. Christmas 2004. Apparently for Christmas that year I got a massive ghetto bootie and a half. Dayummm, gurrlllll.
Ward and June Cleaver if they were little Italian people who made a LOT of sexual innuendos.
My brother demonstrating his patented way of eating ice cream like a dork he’s spent his life perfecting. This particular demo was in 1982 at my 4th birthday party.
The result of the annual Christmas “C’mon, guys, act surprised!” shot, and my sister-in-law laughing.
2006. My Dad making my brother’s kids flex like big bad body builders.
2010. My four favorite guys.
College graduation, 2001. My grandma Anne’s wit always cracked me up and was really a large inspiration for this blog. Miss you every day, Gram.
Mom and Gram right before we lost her in 2014. We lost Gram, that is. Mom is still around trying feverishly to find me a husband. Gram died six weeks shy of her 99th birthday.
My Grandpa Al and I on my first birthday, March 1979. I got all my fart jokes from you, Gramp. (He’s totally laughing in Heaven.)
Paying back the Queen of Annoying.
Teaching Chili the art of sarcasm.
Rosie and Chili, the two savage beasts that live in my house. Might as well be holding up a sign that says, “Will pose for food”.
I like to think this is love, but I think it was more good picture timing.
Still silly. I just have boobs now.