My Online Dating Profile.  Because if I Didn’t Make this Funny, I’d Kill Someone.  

The most common stupid question I get from this profile is, “You speak Ancient Greek?”  Why yes, and Aramaic!  I’m a whiz with dead languages!  And the part about me speaking only some English I wrote directly after that is obviously meant to be ignored entirely.

**P.S.  Don’t be jealous of Ryan Gosling proposing to me.

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One thought on “My Online Dating Profile.  Because if I Didn’t Make this Funny, I’d Kill Someone.  

  1. OMG… I swear my profile was just like that. Too bad the losers from Plenty of fish couldn’t read. Just for shits and giggles I found some nice looking woman from Google images and wrote I love to pick my nose, fart and burp (okay that parts the truth, but I’ll divulge that info once we’ve been dating for a few days). I got more hits on that profile by fat dweebs who probably looked like a cyclops posing as George Clooneys identical twin, then I did on my actual profile. They all wrote back, hey sexy you sound hot. NUTS!

    Like

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